Vanishing Issues
by Angelo'sG-Ma
Summary: Missing scenes from Vanishing Act. Story picks up after 2nd interview of Dean Holiday. B/A established but broken by events following Untethered.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The usual don't own and all that

* * *

Alex was feeling unsettled as they drove back to New York. Their interview with Dean Holiday didn't go well in her opinion. Holiday had hit remarkably close with his 'good chance guess'. He then went on to criticize the guy that was considered the father of criminal profiling. That hadn't bothered her so much but it really got under Bobby's skin. She thought that it might not have bothered him as badly as it did if he wasn't feeling guilty about Holidays 'read' of her. Alex really wished she could have told Holiday that he couldn't be more wrong when he had said "_There are some unresolved issues with a man in your life, some trust issues. He's betrayed you hasn't he? Kept a secret from you, and not for the first time."_ She suddenly realized that Bobby had been speaking to her for the last couple of minutes.

"Eames."

"What? Sorry."

"I was asking you about what Holiday said back there."

"Which part? He said a lot of stuff, most of it bull crap and none of it helpful."

"You know what I am getting at. The stuff about betrayals and trust issues."

"Come on Bobby. Do you really want to do this now?"

"What's wrong with now?"  
"Let's see. How about the fact that it's late, were both tired and I'm not so sure that driving down the interstate is the best place to have this kind of discussion. If you want to talk about the case fine, but let's leave the personal end out of it right now. OK?"

Bobby was quiet for a minute before saying, "You're right."

"Really" She said sarcastically. "About which part?"

"All of it. It is late, we're both tired and your right about not getting into it while driving." Bobby turned to look out the side window at the scenery. They were only about halfway home and he could tell that Alex had been trying to suppress yawns for the last few miles. When he turned back to her she was just trying to do so again. "Eames, pull off at the next exit and we'll get a couple of rooms for the night."

"No need, I'm fine. Besides we're almost there."

"No...we...aren't. We still have at least another hour and that is just to get into the city. Tack on another half hour at least to get you home."

"Fine."

The motel they found when they got off the interstate was actually a small cluster of log style cabins sitting along the shore.

"Sorry folks." The manager said. "But we only have one unit left and that one only has one bed."

"It's not a twin size is it?" Bobby asked.

"No sir, it's a king."

"What do you think Eames? Do we want to take it or hope for better luck at the next exit?"

"We'll take it. Now that I am out of the vehicle, my rear end refuses to get back in it any time soon. We'll just have to make do."

Once they were in the cabin with their overnight bags, that they always keep in the SUV when they are on a case, Bobby said. "Look, I can make up a bed in the two chairs or on the floor."

"Oh for crying out loud Bobby! It's not like we haven't shared a bed before."

"I know. I just didn't think..."

"Right there is your problem Detective! You didn't think."

Bobby decided not to respond to that or they might end up in an argument yet. Instead he grabbed his bag and retreated to the bathroom to get ready for bed. A little more than six months ago he wouldn't have worried about changing in front on Alex. But that was back before Tates, his suspension and subsequent undercover job. In fact, back then only one bed wouldn't have been an issue either. He really missed having Alex in his bed, or being in hers for that matter. It had been his own doing, he knew, that drove her away outside of the job and almost on the job as well. After his rescue from Tates he was having nightmares and didn't want to disturb her sleep so he started making lame excuses for staying away at night. Then he felt bad for making the excuses and just started avoiding her calls. The longer they were apart the more he missed her and the more he missed her the more guilty he felt so the more he avoided her. When the Captain came to him with the undercover assignment the Chief of D's wanted him to do he jumped at it just so he could get back to Alex.

When Bobby finally came out of the bathroom, Alex was already in bed with the light out. She hoped he would take the hint and just quietly get into bed and go to sleep. She made sure she was facing away from him when he slid into bed. The last time they were together like this was the night before he went undercover at Tates. As Alex laid there praying for sleep to come she started feeling an ache growing in her chest and tears starting to fill her eyes. To be so close to him but not at the same time was like torture. She knew by the sound of his breathing that he was still awake. "I'm sorry for snapping at you Bobby. I don't know why I was being so bitchy."

Bobby could tell by the sound of her voice that she was on the verge of crying. He turned over on his side facing Alex's back and leaned up on his elbow. Using his free hand he lightly pulled back on her shoulder so that she was on her back. She turned her head so that she was still facing away from him, not wanting him to see her tears. He didn't need to see them to know they were there though.

"Please don't cry Sweet heart." When he reached for her, Alex turned and buried herself in his chest. She began crying in earnest then and Bobby wrapped his arms around her and held her until the storm of tears passed. Once she started to calm down he leaned back a bit and tipped her chin up so he could look at her. "Alex" he simply said, and then leaned down and captured her lips. Just as her hands were coming up his chest he broke the kiss and pulled back. "Do you...should I stop?" he asked her.

"No" she answered huskily as her hands continued up to loop around his neck and pull him back down to her.

Tbc.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Dick Wolfe owns not I

* * *

"Do you...should I stop?" he asked her.

"No" she answered huskily as her hands continued up to loop around his neck and pull him back down to her. Alex knew that she should stop him. He had all but abandoned her during his suspension and then when that bust went down and she aimed her gun right at his heart with her finger poised on the trigger, her heart broke nearly as much as when Joe died. The problem with telling Bobby to stop though was that she missed him so much. Yes they saw each other at work every day but she ached to touch him and hold him and love him. "Bobby" She gasped as they started pulling at each others clothes.

"I know. It's been so long, I don't know if I can make it last" …....................

They laid curled around each other trying to get their breathing evened back out after their lovemaking. Once Alex could think straight again she said. "Bobby, this doesn't just fix everything. You know that right?"

Bobby sighed before responding. "Yeah I know, but please don't ask me to move to the floor now."

"No of course not." She laughed. "Actually, I know it may be asking a lot but do you think that you could maybe keep holding me till I fall asleep, like you use to."

"Why don't you ask me for something hard." He grinned and pulled the blanket back up over them. "I don't have to let go once you're asleep do I?"

"Only if you want to." Alex yawned and started drifting off to sleep.

Bobby grinned "Sleep well" he whispered before closing his own eyes to seek sleep.

Alex woke with a scream in her throat. She jerked to a sitting position and looked around. The room was empty. Looking at the alarm clock, she saw that it was 5:35 a.m. Climbing out of bed, she shuffled to the window to look out. Bobby was sitting on a log down by the shore watching the sunrise. She stood there watching him for a while. Last night had been like coming home again. Unfortunately in the light of day, they still had all their unresolved issues to come between them. She still loved him, that hadn't changed but she had no clue as to what his feelings were at this point. Obviously he still desired her, that had been evident in his lovemaking last night. After Tates she had wanted to help him heal and comfort him, but he started pulling away. Alex knew that he had been plagued with nightmares about the experience and had wanted to hold him and comfort him the way he had done for her after her experience with Jo Gage. Instead Bobby stopped coming over. She knew his excuses were just that, excuses. She didn't know if he didn't want her help, need her help or just didn't want to burden her. One thing she knew for sure though was that she needed him. If it was only to be on the job then she would learn to live with that, but she really hoped that they could make it all the way back to the way they were.

Out on the shore Bobby was staring not at the beautiful sunrise in front of him but rather at a picture of Alex on his cell phone. He had taken it with out her knowledge. Just one more secret he's kept from her he thought. She wouldn't mind this one though, he was sure. He knew that she had said that last night didn't fix things but he was hoping that it had meant that there was something left to fix. He felt like he had taken advantage of her vulnerability last night. He should have just held her and let it go at that after she cried, but he had missed her so much. Alex was the love of his life. One thing Bobby knew for sure was that he had screwed up royally in the last several months. He hoped beyond hope that she would let him make it up to her and that they could make it back to the way they were. Glancing at his watch, Bobby decided that it was time to get Alex some coffee from the motel office and get ready to head back to the city.

When he came into the room Bobby was surprised to see the bed empty. He heard the shower and wondered how long Alex had been up. Knowing how how hard it is for her to wake up in the morning he had thought he would have the pleasure of gently waking her. Was is going to be one more black mark against him that he wasn't here when she woke up. He seriously hoped not. He had woken up around 4:30 a.m., from a disturbing dream of mixed and jumbled images from his time at Tates and the Alex's kidnapping by Jo Gage. He is always restless after such dreams so he had decided to walk out on the beach for a while and then had sat down the think.

"You had quite a beautiful view out there." Alex said coming out of the bathroom.

"Yeah I did." He said sheepishly, thinking of the picture on his phone.

"Well the bathroom is all yours." Then added her thanks when he handed her a cup of coffee.

Once they were ready to go, Bobby went back to the motel's office to check them out. While he was there he had the room charged to his personal credit card instead of the department card. It seemed wrong to him to ask the NYPD to pay for last night. Alex was already in the SUV when he got back to it. The rest of the trip back to New York they spent talking about the case. As soon as they were parked in the garage at 1PP how ever, Bobby put his hand on her arm to keep her from getting out right away.

"Alex, I didn't bring it up because I knew you didn't want to discuss it while driving, but we need to talk, and yes I know this isn't the place for it either."

"You're right we do need to talk. How about dinner at my place tonight and we can talk then."

"Sounds good" Bobby reached up and cupped Alex's cheek with his hand and stroked the side of her face with his thumb before turning to get out of the vehicle.


	3. Chapter 3

As Alex was driving home that evening she let her mind drift back over what they had learned that day about the death of Miles Stone. Miranda had mistakenly given Dean Holiday the secret about the safe room that he needed to kill stone. Evidently she had also had sex with him, since she claimed to have slept on the couch for three nights worried that Jacob would smell Deans cologne on her. The stupidness of some girls (she wouldn't call her a woman because women would know better) always amazed her. She loves Jacob so she betrays him to advance his career. OH Yeah that makes a lot of sense, not. Since it was later that she had hoped when they left the office, Alex decided to stop at the Italian place down the street from her place and pick up take out for her and Bobby for dinner. He had taken the Subway home to change and would drive himself over afterwards. Once she was home, she set the table and opened a bottle of wine before going in and changing her own clothes.

When Bobby let himself into his apartment, he dropped his mail on the counter and headed strait for the bedroom. He didn't want to keep Alex waiting long. Dinner was late as it was, thanks in part to the fact that as usual he had got caught up in watching the video of Miles in his casket. He quickly changed into jeans and a t-shirt, then replaced the clothes in his overnight bag with clean ones and grabbed an extra suit to put in his car just in case. Bobby wouldn't assume he would be allowed to spend the night with Alex but hey a man could hope couldn't he? Within fifteen minutes he was back out the door and on his way to Alex's.

Alex was just coming out of the bedroom from changing when the door bell rang. She opened it to find Bobby standing there looking down at his feet as he rocked back and forth on his heels.

"You could have used your key, you do still have it don't you?" Alex said with humor in her voice.

"I still have it" He said and pulled his keys out of his pocket to prove it. "I just didn't want to assume that it was OK for me to let myself in right now."

"It's not like I wasn't expecting you. You going to come in or stand on the step all night." She turned and walked towards the kitchen leaving him standing there. He grinned as he came in and locked the door behind him. Following her into the kitchen he asked "So what's for dinner?"

"Italian from down the street. I hope you don't mind. I was going to cook something but considering the time when we left work..." She let her words trail off as she watched him walk towards her. She never could figure out which made him look more handsome, his well tailored suits or the jeans and t-shirt look. When Bobby stopped right in front of her it took all of her will power to not reach out and run her hands over his expansive chest.

Bobby stared down at the top of her head for a minute or two, since she didn't seem inclined to look up. Finally he reached under her chin to tip her face up to his. "Alex, sweet heart, I know what happened last night didn't fix everything I screwed up and I know we need to really talk but please, may I kiss you right now?" She simply nodded her head in answer. Bobby dipped his head down and kissed her tenderly without touching her otherwise. He knew that it if he did, then he wouldn't be able to stop himself. Just when Alex's will power was crashing and she was reaching up to pull him in closer, Bobby broke the kiss and stepped away. "So let's eat." He said "I'm starved."

Alex braced her self using the back of a kitchen chair. Her knees felt like Jello. Not an uncommon occurrence to be sure when he kissed her. "Right... food." Bobby just laughed as he sat down and waited for her to do the same. During dinner they kept the conversation away from work and away from the more personal issues. "So any news on Donny?" She asked.

"No, he could be anywhere."

"I'm sorry Bobby, I know he means a lot to you."

"He's family." He said simply. Alex knew from experience how much family means to him. His mother was a prime example of that. Frances had treated Bobby bad a lot. There were times when she was in her right mind and their time together was happy, but more often then not (especially in the last year of her life) Frances had made his life a living nightmare. But he was still there for her as much as he could and the job would allow him to be. That in itself caused him a lot of stress. She reached out and laid her hand over his.

"I know what family means to you Bobby. I feel the same way about mine. Good or bad, family is family."

He turned his hand over and entwined his fingers with hers. "Well I guess we know whose family falls of which side of that coin."

Alex really didn't know what else to say to that so she squeezed his hand lightly and then stood up to clear the table. "I'll make us some coffee and bring it in if you want to go get comfortable in the living room."

"I'll help you clean up first." He said, standing up in the process.

"No, it's fine. I got it. You go ahead, maybe choose some music for the stereo."

"OK, if you're sure." Bobby said turning to leave the room.

"I'm sure" Alex smiled at him so he would be reassured. She thought that they both needed a few minutes of alone time to gather their thoughts before what was sure to be a very emotionally charged discussion.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't own and all that stuff

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating, but life got busy with the start of the school year for my teens.

* * *

When Alex came into the living room Bobby was still flipping through her Cd's to choose some music. She set the coffee cups on the end table and sat on the end of the couch with her legs curled up under her. With a bit of humor in her voice she said, "Come on Goren, it's music not rocket science"

"I know. I was just looking to see if you had anything new."

"Well I don't, so pick something already before your coffee gets cold."

After getting the music going he asked "Do you want me to light a fire?"

"Sure, a fire might be nice tonight. It's getting cold outside." She sat there watching him as he built the fire in her fireplace. Alex couldn't help thinking back to the last time they sat in front of a fire.

* * *

Alex was laying on her side on the floor in front of the fire place. Her head was pillowed on Bobby's arm. He leaned down and kissed the side of her neck after gently brushing her hair back. "Mmm, you taste good." He murmured.

"Seriously Bobby, did you have to provoke TJ like that? And taking your badge off? What was that supposed to prove?"

"I would have thought that that was obvious." he said while continuing to nibble on the side of her neck. "I proved that he was a liar and a coward." Bobby pulled back on her shoulder so that she was laying on her back and stared down into her eyes. "Beautiful"

Alex knew that he was trying to distract her so that she wouldn't be upset with him. She reached up and held his head with her hands. "Bobby what if he had taken advantage of the offer and really hit you. You made a point of giving me your badge. I couldn't have done a damn thing to him if he hurt you."

"It couldn't have made my ugly mug any worse."

"Hey, I happen to love your mug and it's not ugly. You are one of the most handsome men I know."

"One of?" He asked as he started tickling her.

"OK OK the most handsome" Bobby leaned down and kissed her. It was hours before they sought the comfort of her bed. But those had been some memorable hours.

* * *

"Alex"

Bobby was waving a hand in front of her face. While her mind had been in the past, he had the fire started and had joined her on the couch. He was sitting on the other end , turned to face her with one leg bent up on the couch and his arm draped along the back.

"Sorry, I was thinking"  
"What about?"

"TJ Hawkins" She said skirting around her real thoughts. "I wonder how his real prison experience is shaping up compared to his fictional ones from his books.?"

"It's funny that you should bring him up. While I was building the fire, I realized that the last time we enjoyed one together was during that case."

"Really" She replied. "I hadn't realized"

Bobby reached out with his hand and lightly tapped her nose with with his finger. "Liar" He laughed at the indignant look on her face. "I could see just by looking at your face that you were remembering that night the same as I was."

"Yeah well...You never did answer my original question?"

"And that was?"

"Did you have to provoke TJ?"  
"Maybe not but it was kind of fun." He said with a grin on his face.

"Maybe for you." Alex grumbled. She grabbed his coffee off the end table and handed it to him.

"Alex" "Bobby" they both said at the same time and then they both grinned.

"Look Alex, I know that I screwed up... a lot."

Alex interrupted him before he could get any further.

"I think that we both did to different levels, but that is besides the point. Look, before you went up to Tates, we were pretty much living together right?" Bobby nodded his head but knew better that to interrupt her at this point, since it was mostly a rhetorical question anyways. "So if that had still been the case when Stoat approached you, would you have still kept me in the dark?"

"That's a good question Alex. I wish I had a good answer for it. The fact is that I don't know. I have tried to take myself back and see what would have been different if we had been together more then, and I just can't play it out in my head. I want to say that of course I would have talked to you before I called the Captain and that we would have done it together but I can't be positive about it. Does that help?"

"Not really." Alex was quiet for a couple of minutes and Bobby wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing right now. Suddenly she blurted out "Bobby, why did you leave me?"


	5. Chapter 5

"Bobby, why did you leave me?"

-----------------------------

Both of them sat in stunned silence. Alex did not intend to say that.

"Is...is that what you think I did?" He asked astonished. He hadn't had any idea that she saw it that way. To him it was always her that he was worried about leaving him.

Intended or not, since she had said it, Alex decided to go with it. "Didn't you? It sure looked that way to me, and it sure as hell felt that way."

"Honestly Sweet Heart, I didn't realize it came across that way. That was never my intention."

"Then what was?" She asked. Alex was doing everything she could to hold the tears back that kept welling up but Bobby could tell because he could hear it in her voice.

"After Tates, when I was in the hospital, I started having nightmares and was restless at night. Once I got out, it occurred to me that, thanks to the suspension,you had to be to work in the mornings and I didn't. You needed your sleep and my problems would have kept you awake. I made up excuses. Wrongly I know, but I did it anyways. That made me feel all the more guilty so I guess that I started avoiding you so that I wouldn't have to lie to you anymore."

"God your such an idiot do you know that? I wanted to help you, just like you helped me after the kidnapping. So I might have lost a little sleep. So what? Are you saying that I shouldn't have leaned on you and kept you up all those nights that I had nightmares?"

"What? No! Of course not. You have no idea just how much it meant to me that you turned to me for comfort and support."

"You think so? If it meant so much to you than why wouldn't you let me do the same for you. I wanted to so much and it hurt to think that you either didn't need me or want my help."

"Not want you? Or need you? Alex..." He said reaching his hand out to cup her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Alex, I need you every minute of every day and I want you twice as much."

"You have a funny way of showing it. For five months you didn't call and when I tracked you down at the diner, you blew me off."  
"By that point, I was already involved in the undercover job. It took every ounce of will power to turn and walk away, leaving you standing there."

Alex got up and started pacing. "I never completely read your follow-up report. Why did you have a gun pointed at that young mans head?"

"Testarossa figured the kid had talked while in police custody, and then Stoat found the wire in the lighter that I accidentally on purpose missed. I was supposed to kill him to prove myself by killing the kid."

"What would you have done if we hadn't raided the place right then?" She asked, standing in front of him with her hands on her hips.

Bobby turned on the couch and leaned his arms on his knees. "I don't know." He said simply. "Stall for time? The odds favored that a surveillance team was near by since the kid was wired. Worse case scenario? I might have shoved him to the floor and tried to arrest Testarossa and Stoat myself."

Alex let out a reigned sigh and simply nodded her head. That's what she had been afraid of. By her figuring of the odds, if he had tried the last option there was a high probability that he would have ended up dead. "Do you have any idea what was going through my mind during the bust? When we were gun to gun so to speak?"

"No I don't, but I know what was going through mine."

"What?"

"Shit, I'm in deep trouble now. I thought that you just might shoot me and get it over with."

"No, actually that thought didn't occur to me until later when I found out you were undercover. What went through my mind then was how did it come to this? Why hadn't I tried harder? That just maybe Tates had affected you more that anyone thought and Damn-it Bobby I almost shot you out of pure instinct and training!"

Bobby stood up then and closed the gap between them. He placed his hands on her shoulders and then lightly ran them down her arm the grasp her hands. He then brought them up to his lips and kissed them. "I know. I'm so sorry that you were put in that position. It all happened so fast, and then you were so mad."

Alex gave a small half laugh. "Mad? You always did have a mastery of understatement."

"The point I am trying to make is..." He said letting go of one of her hands so he could cup her cheek. "I screwed up. I didn't want to burden you with my problems to start with and then I tried to protect you by keeping you in the dark about my undercover assignment." He leaned down and tenderly kissed her. "If I could go back and change it I would but I can't and I can't promise I won't screw up again. I will really try though, to not make the same mistake again."

"I'll say one thing. Life with you is never boring."

"I'll take that as a good thing. So are things fixed now."

"I'll let you know. Just so you know, I still love you. That never changed."

"I am so glad because I will always love you Alex."

Alex stepped back but kept a hold of Bobby's hand . "It's getting late and we do have to drive back to Atlantic City tomorrow morning."

"So I should probably go then so you can get some sleep."

"Bobby" She said a little more harshly than she intended.

"Alright but don't blame me if my nightmares and restlessness keeps you awake."

Alex turned and headed to the bedroom, still holding his hand. "So we'll leave the lights on out here so you can see when you get up but, I can think of better ways to work off some of that restlessness." She said cheekily

End


End file.
